Because resentment makes you feel like a victim – it feels like someone else is controlling your thoughts, feelings, and behavior – it comes with a built-in retaliation impulse. If you’re resentful, you are probably in some way emotionally abusive to the people you love. You likely havve devalued, demeaned, sought to control or manipulate and deliberately hurt the feelings of loved ones. But you’ve been so focused on what you don’t like about their behavior that you haven’t noticed what you don’t like about your own. You probably have not grasped that resentment has made you into someone you are not.
Are not in touch with their feelings: Victims may have difficulty in identifying their emotions. They often feel unhappy or irritable for no clear reason and have trouble calming down when upset. They are often unable to cite their strengths and weaknesses. They sometimes feel empty inside. Something seems to hold them back in social situations from being present in the moment. When I was sixteen, a boy wrote a poem about me that jolted me into an awareness of how disconnected I was from people. He described me as a “bird with broken wings” that hid behind a protective wall that kept me from being hurt.